Social situations and self- acceptance

Social situations and self- acceptance

Do you find it difficult to approach people? Well I do. I have never been very comfortable with strangers or large groups of people. I realized in my freshman year that I have a lack of social skills. I wish I were one of those social butterflies. You know, those people that always know their ways into a group. I have often been the outsider of any group I have been in. I find it very hard to keep a conversation or making an impression on people and when I try it always seems to be silly words that come out of my mouth. Well it could be too that I’m too conscious on what people think of me, while they probably haven’t even given me a thought.
I have decided to do something about it. I have accepted my deficiency in this area and many others. I’m not as beautiful or intelligent or funny as I wish I were. Believe me this was not easy; it took me some time, and many not- so- great moments for me to finally reach this point of acceptance. I have told myself many times; “That’s the way I am and that’s it.” But I REFUSE to do nothing about it. I’ve decided to go out of my comfort zone as much as possible, and be voluntarily put in those awkward situations where you do not always have a friend to turn to and avoid giving the impression of the poor lonely person. I realized that if I ever want to be that person I have to be put in many more of these awkward situations, and stop worrying about what people think about you.
Have you ever realized that very confident people are those that just do their thing and are not afraid of making a fool of them selves? This is because they are at ease with themselves and they know who they are and they don't feel like they have to prove anything to others and they are not constantly conscious on whether people will like them or not.
I have decided to work on the person I hope I become someday. Notice, I DO NOT want to change, but I want to improve and develop myself. I have accepted the person I am but I REFUSE to make my acceptance a wall for improvement. Accepting myself is just one of the many steps of the stair that I will have to take.
My next step is to stop my fear of what people think of me. This fear restricted me from approaching people and opening my mouth and to go out there.
“ I do not care whether I seem silly or not. I do not care whether they will find me interesting or not. I do not care whether I’m rejected or not.” These are my words of encouragement every time I’m in one of those social awkward moments. I hope that one day I will reach this step in order to go one step further in this process of growing up.